How to deal gracefully?

I know how you feel as I have gone through this as well. I actually heard my MIL call her self mommy quite a few times which really pissed me off. She always had to be there everyday as she worked across the street. She bought everything all the time. It was really hard to swallow everything that she did and she was really annoying. I had to get over it. She would still buy my hubbies undies and socks. Very controlling as he is her baby boy. I just had to deal with all of it cause at the time everything she was buying was really helping us save for a house. It has now been 5 years and she is still the same but I have had another baby and she is a real help. She is still as deep in our lives as she was 5 years ago but she now knows that I am a strong willed person and knows when she going over the line. It just took time for me to get over it and her to learn that she is going over a bit. I never really sat down and talked it out with her until after my first was a year or so but by then she kinda got the clue that she was over doing it. Now I love the help. She picks up my older son and takes him for the weekends and still buys lots of stuff for the baby. As crazy as I was going in the beginning I am glad I got the help I did cause I sure do need it now. Hope this helps a little and hang in there.